[Warning: this is a cheesy post. It happens every year at this time and always will. If you know me, you know this part of my story and that I believe in remembrance of things past because of the deeper celebration/joy it brings to the now. The older I get, the more I appreciate this part of my story because of how it continues to shape how I see and capture people. The flaws and idiosyncrasies are the best part of all of us.]
Eleven years ago this August third, the period at the end of my life almost inked the page. What could have been a day of mourning became a day of joy. Kenz’s life day, as friends have begun to call it. When I talk to people about it, some say I’m so sorry, and others I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially you.
And while I understand those responses and would probably say the same thing to someone who faced the same thing, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
It think it’s true (and a little sad) that it’s often when we’re about to lose all we have that we realize the value of what we have in front of us. Like watching my dog Willie get hit by about 5 cars in a row when I was little. Surely that fifth one would have killed him but that tank of a mutt kept getting back up. After that day, I saw a direct correlation between how much I roller-bladed with him and how much I loved him. Looking back, I probably could have showed my gratitude for his not dying a bit differently. Those cars didn’t kill him but surely my rollerblading shenanigans took years off his life, even with his magical mutt blood.
I’m fairly cynical but don’t think it’s wrong to say that it often takes trauma to shake us.
It’s just too easy to get comfortable.
We all have those moments in life where if x hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be y. I’d like to know those defining moments of every person I photograph on the streets of this city.
A lot of people in my life are hurting right now. Family stresses, jobs lost, blows at the job one does have, difficulties conceiving or an inability to keep the baby once pregnant, anxiety about next year in high school or despair about the next ten of marriage.
Will those circumstances be those peoples August 3rd? Or is it their second, fifth, tenth? It seems some people continue to face those dark places again and again.
This month is going to be wonderful. Much travel to states all over the country. Being a part of one of my best friend’s weddings, and to a man I love for her. Shooting a personal project that’s fulfilling and invigorating. Working with clients who are the cream of zee crop.
Life is full and exhausting and sweet and impossible and awesome.
As you know, I’m a lover of playlists for different seasons. This one includes songs from that month in 2002. They’re fairly obvious and Darcy, I’ll always think of you when humming or pitifully attempting to sing along to Dashboard’s whiny lyrics. The rest are songs I’ve been enjoying lately as I fly to and fro and/or shoot the streets of New York.
Wherever you are today, know that you are loved beyond compare. And if you’re at your end, shoot me a line. Or more importantly, look up and cry out. You will be answered in your distress.
Kenz ( + Mel, who’s been such a big advocate of living life well regardless of how much sh*t hits the fan.)